Justin M. Fitzpatrick.
The Hidden Power of Taking an ‘L’
If you didn’t play sports as a kid, you’re at a disadvantage.
It’s not just about teamwork, discipline, or perseverance—though those are invaluable. The real lesson sports teach, the one that shapes future leaders, is how to lose.
That might sound counterintuitive in a world obsessed with winning. But ask any CEO, entrepreneur, or elite performer, and they’ll tell you the same thing: their greatest lessons didn’t come from standing on podiums. They came from falling flat on their faces.
And the numbers back it up. A staggering 95% of Fortune 500 CEOs played sports at university. Not all were champions. Many rode the bench. Many lost. But every single one of them learned how to take an L—and keep going.
Why Kids Need Sports More Than Ever
Playing sports as a child builds more than just physical fitness. It shapes the mind, sharpens resilience, and lays the foundation for leadership. Here’s why:
- Sharper Brains, Stronger Grades Physically active kids perform better in school. A 2003 meta-analysis found that exercise boosts perceptual skills, intelligence, and academic readiness—especially in kids aged 4–7 and 11–13.
- Social Superpowers Sports teach teamwork, communication, and leadership. Kids who play are more engaged, more confident, and better at navigating social dynamics.
- Health That Lasts a Lifetime Childhood sports cut the risk of obesity and chronic diseases. Active kids grow into healthier adults.
- Built-In Stress Relief Exercise releases endorphins, which lower anxiety, stress, and depression. It’s the ultimate natural mood booster.
- A Direct Path to Leadership The Women’s Sports Foundation found that 69% of female leaders played sports in their youth. The pattern holds for men, too—sports build future decision-makers.
- Better Odds at Higher Education High school athletes are 15% more likely to attend college than non-athletes.
- The Resilience Factor Learning to handle wins and losses early prepares kids for real-world challenges.
The message is clear: kids who play sports gain an undeniable edge. But the biggest lessons don’t come from the wins.
The Hardest Moments Teach the Most
Sports don’t just build character—they reveal it.
Growing up, I played everything: rugby, cricket, hockey, judo, athletics, skiing, fencing, basketball, soccer, boxing. Rugby was my first love, but every sport tested me in its own way. Each had its own rhythm, its own set of rules, its own unwritten code.
Yet, my biggest lessons didn’t come from my victories. They came from the moments I was humbled:
- Sparring with a middleweight boxing champion and realizing my size and strength meant nothing if I couldn’t land a punch.
- Volunteering for a fencing demo only to be schooled by my ancient-but-lightning-fast instructor.
- Training for months, making it to a final, and failing spectacularly when it mattered most.
- Being dropped from a squad and facing the cold reality of my own shortcomings.
- Watching my competitors cross the finish line ahead of me and realizing that losing today doesn’t mean losing forever.
Nobody gave me a TED Talk on resilience. No coach sat me down to explain that failure was part of the process. I just felt the pain. And then I had to get on with it.
My father, however, never let me wallow. After every loss, he’d push me to ask my coach for feedback—a task I loathed at first. But every time, I walked away with something to work on. Every time, I improved. And over time, the lesson stuck:
As former Ulster coach Matt Williams put it, “Feedback isn’t positive or negative. It’s just feedback.”
And that’s the unspoken truth of sport: the world doesn’t end when you lose.
You shake hands. You dust yourself off. You train harder. And you come back.
Why Rugby Stands Apart
All sports teach resilience. Rugby engrains it into your DNA.
It’s a game of relentless confrontation. Every player attacks and defends. There’s no place to hide, no time to sulk. You take the hit, and you keep moving.
And that’s a metaphor for life.
Sir Clive Woodward, who led England to their 2003 Rugby World Cup victory, said it best: “Winning doesn’t teach you much. Losing teaches you everything.”
I once heard that every Irish rugby player gets dropped at some point—it’s part of the process. I don’t know if that’s literally true, but I understand the sentiment.
Every player faces that gut-check moment: Is the pain worth it?
For some, pulling on that sacred green jersey once or twice is enough. They’ve climbed their Everest. But for others, the sting of failure burns deep enough to drive them back—to push through the pain, demand more of themselves, and return stronger.
That’s the difference between those who achieve and those who redefine what’s possible.
The Crisis We’re Facing
But there’s a problem. Kids are playing less sport than ever.
- In the past decade, youth sports participation (ages 6–12) dropped from 45% to 37%.
- High school football participation fell by 9.1% between 2009 and 2019.
- Youth ice hockey in Canada shrank from 523,785 in 2009 to 436,895 in 2023.
This isn’t just bad for sports—it’s bad for leadership.
Sports teach resilience, teamwork, and the ability to handle setbacks. If fewer kids play, fewer will learn these crucial skills.
And part of the problem? Overprotective parenting.
Participation trophies. No-score games. Helicopter parents shielding kids from failure.
It comes from a good place—nobody wants to see their child upset. But without experiencing failure, kids never learn how to handle setbacks. They never build the mental armor they’ll need for job rejections, tough feedback, or business failures.
We’re raising kids who don’t know how to lose. And that’s dangerous.
Rugby: A Masterclass in Resilience
If we want to reverse this trend, rugby is the perfect teacher.
Its physicality and sheer unpredictability demand grit. It forces players to confront challenges head-on, reinforcing resilience and adaptability. It’s a pressure cooker for personal growth.
Because in rugby, just like in life, you don’t win every battle.
But if you keep showing up, keep learning, and keep pushing, you get stronger. You get smarter. You get better.
And eventually, you win.
Building the Future Leaders We Need
The corporate world has already figured this out. Many top firms actively seek former athletes—not for their technical skills, but for their mindset.
Deloitte partner Jeff Rieder put it best: “When I see someone played competitive sports, I know they understand how to overcome adversity, manage their time, and push through challenges.”
Sport teaches you that losing isn’t permanent.
It teaches you that the moments of pain, frustration, and self-doubt—the ones that make you question everything—are often the ones that define you.
So if you’re a parent, sign your kid up for sport. If you’re a coach, push them hard. If you’re a young athlete, embrace the struggle.
Because every L you take today is shaping the W you’ll get tomorrow.
And the world needs more winners.